Grief in the Time of Corona: 5 Concepts for Pushing Through Pain

In life, a momentous loss can bring everything to a halt and add perspective to your priorities. Most people force themselves back into the distraction of work or vacation, but there are ways to face your grief in these unconventional times.

Grief is your body’s response to the loss of a bond and can affect you mentally and physically.

A few weeks ago, a dear friend of mine transitioned out of this life.

Dealing with loss is Necessary for You to Heal and Return to Some Sense of Normalcy.

It wasn’t unexpected or sudden, but her absence is felt deeply. My friend’s obituary will be the eighth to grace my collection over the last 2 years. By now I assumed I would be numb to this feeling, but every loss hurt differently for different reasons. The coronavirus claimed some of their lives while age took others.

Up until 2020, I had only experienced a handful of deaths that were close to me. Since then, I have had to earn my resilience and stand in my fortitude in a way that I never have before. I decided to intentionally immerse myself in these feelings to deal with them head-on.

the pandemic has altered the way we cope and experience our grief.

Confusion Around the Coronavirus has Added Frustration to an Already Difficult Process.

Severe illness often comes quickly and unexpectedly. Final moments that would usually be spent with loved ones have been spent in isolation due to protective policies. Life celebrations and funerals have been delayed, limited, or bypassed altogether. Gatherings are clouded with uncertainty and concern that tragedy may strike again.

The pandemic has created a pressure cooker, with everyone on edge waiting on an end that eludes us with the next strain mutation. The politicization of the virus has turned empathy into a twisted dismissal and every news story is a constant reminder. There are nearly 1 million deaths due to COVID-19 alone in the United States, leaving families and friends to make sense of it all. How do we say “it’s over” (again) as members of our communities continue to fall ill or lie in rest?

Here are 5 concepts that I’ve held onto throughout my grieving process:

• Life does go on. You just have to acclimate to the “new normal.”

  Receiving news that someone has passed on is jarring, but you must find a way to ground yourself. The sky is still blue, the mountains still stand, and the walls have not crumbled around you. Your heart is not literally broken. You are still breathing and able to live a life that would make your loved ones proud.

• The pain that you feel is the price you pay for loving someone.

  Loss hurts when it means something to you. The space that someone has filled in your life can now seem vacant. Keeping your focus on happy memories is a celebration of your relationship. There’s no need to reduce their entire existence to the moment they moved on.
  

• Keep your heart open to receive the positive energy that people send to you.

  It can be grating for people to ask constantly if you are ok when your emotions are reeling. They are expressing concern for your wellbeing and identifying ways that they can help you. Often, they do not expect you to be “ok” or think that their words alone will heal you.

• Someone else may have it worse, but do not negate your experiences.

  Grief is painful, and there is no need to minimize that. Give yourself space, time, and permission to feel what you are going through. Comfort yourself knowing that you are not alone. You will not be the first nor last to go through this. Death is an inescapable part of living and one of the most relatable traumas we all share.

• Talk to a professional and use your support system.

  If you feel that you are unable to move through any part of your grief process alone, reach out to someone. The people that know you best may be able to help you positively navigate your feelings. Trained mental health professionals can also give you skills to cope and find normalcy. There is an inclination by many doctors to prescribe medications so that you can get back to your routines, but remember that therapy is always recommended when using antidepressants and mood stabilizers.

The process is not perfect. When we love, we lose. Your resilience will be tested, but you can flourish with confidence in your ability to find spiritual peace.

This is dedicated to those that have moved on. I will always be grateful for the love and support that was given to me so freely and carry that as their legacy in my daily life. May they all rest in peace and with pride for who they were on this earth.

~Tash

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References

1. The New York Times. (2022, April 28). Covid in the US: Latest Maps, Case and Death Counts. The New York Times. Retrieved April, 2022, from https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2021/us/covid-cases.html
   
   
   

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